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Balancing Act December 1998
The Monthly Newsletter of Balanced Life Design
Produced by Annaliese Furnas, Success Coach and Speaker
In This Issue:
1. Set Goals Now to Have a Great 1999.
2. How to Have Less Stress this Holiday Season!
3. Balance Tips (monthly tip for achieving Balance in
your life).
Set Goals Now to Have a Great 1999.
We often think of New Year's as the time to start fresh
and make those famous resolutions. But why not start now and get ready
for the New Year?
Anytime is the right time to take control of our lives,
to choose how we will live. Real success in life is about balance, about
choosing priorities, and then following a plan to focus on the things that
are most important to us. The following suggestions can help.
1. Take time to decide what you really want. What would
make 1999 a great year, a fantastic year for you? Dream and scheme, and
then dream bigger! And write it down, just for the fun of it.
2. Mark one day each month, just for you. Use ink, not
pencil, and schedule an appointment with yourself for one full day each
month. Have fun and renew yourself, for the joy of it.
3. Take more vacation that you had planned. Look at
the calendar and write in a couple extra weeks off! Do things you enjoy,
but mostly relax. Go camping, rent a cabin at the beach, visit old friends,
etc.
4. Commit to a project you've dreamed of but haven't done. This is not
a "should" or a "have to", this is one of those, "I've
always wanted to but never did" projects. Learn to ski, write a book,
visit Niagara Falls, start a business, or run for mayor. This is your year!
5. Buy four books you've always wanted to read, and schedule time for them.
Put it in your appointment calendar as "continuing education"
or "research", and enjoy!
6. Start a special savings account to prepare for something huge!
7. Renew relationships with family and friends. Every week, send a note
or make a call, and reconnect with the people who have helped you along
the way.
8. Every day, tell someone you appreciate them, that
you are grateful for their help. Practice the attitude of gratitude!
9. Raise your sights and increase your goals. Whatever
you hope to accomplish in the next year, double it, then commit to making
it happen! Push yourself for greatness and settle for nothing less.
10. Be kind to yourself and those around you. Be gentle, practice patience,
expect the best and settle for nothing less.
A portion of this piece was originally written for Coach
University by Dr Philip E. Humbert, peh@newdreams.com. Subscribe to his
popular weekly newsletter at www.newdreams.com.
How to Have Less Stress this Holiday Season!
Holiday times are historically one of the most stressful
times of the year for most people. What is for many a joyous and happy
and spiritually-based day or time period, often is comprised of frantic
activities, shopping and gastronomic marathons, and an increase in both
stress and illness. Here are some suggestions to make the season more joyful
and less stressful.
1. Manage Your Time--Don't Let It Manage You. Decide what your priorities
are regarding holiday events such as parties, family functions, gift buying,
cooking, and all other related activities. Put them in order of priority
and give yourself an "ample" time deadline for each thing.
2. Do Not Over-Commit. Learn how to say no, with a smile
and firm conviction. You only have so many days and hours to squeeze in
family, friends, business get-togethers, gift buying, food preparation,
gift-wrapping, traveling, packing, etc. If a party or other event comes
up and you feel very tired or even ill, cancel or ask for help. Don't play
"superman/woman". Holidays are to be enjoyed. Less is often more.
3. If Possible, Don't Spend Holidays Alone. For Various
reasons, holidays are not happy times for some people. If you live alone
and dread the holidays, spending it alone will usually add to you feeling
depressed and very isolated. If you have friends or relatives, see if you
can join them for a part of it. If not, volunteer your time to work at
a food center where a holiday dinner is served.
4. Accept Your Limitations. This is tough to do, since we often want to
do all kinds of things on a holiday and don't realize how much time and
energy it will take from us in the end. Think about what you really have
to do, and really want to do. Then think about what you realistically have
adequate time and energy to do. Follow those guidelines and you will perhaps
do less, not see as many people, write as many holiday cards, or cook as
many cookies or pies, but you will be much less stressed and enjoy the
holidays considerably more.
5. Help Others/Volunteer. Volunteer to work at a local church or shelter
to help feed the homeless and the poor. The more you give, the more you
will get back in blessings and good feelings yourself. When you see that
the best gift you can give is yourself, your spirit will rise and be reinforced
with a warmth and strength which is better and longer lasting than any
gift or holiday party.
6. Be Yourself: Drop Expectations of Yourself and others. Placing expectations
on yourself to cook the perfect meals, go to all the parties, pick the
"right" gifts (in the right sizes and colors) and to be entertained
and to entertain everyone you are with, is a setup for stress and disappointment.
Plan what you want to do, do things in your own way, and accept the outcomes.
You always do your best at the time. Accept that you will never be all
things to all people and realize that is the nature of every human. Keep
in mind why the holiday originally was created or named as a "holiday".
Have fun in your own way; respect others to do the same. Take it a minute
at a time, and both your happiness level and your holiday experience will
be enhanced. The season should not feel like a chore, an annual struggle,
or an obligation.
Portions of this piece was originally written for Coach University by Dennis
Tesdell, dtesdell@coachdt.com and has been extensively rewritten.
Balance Tips
Monthly tips for achieving Balance in your life.
December's tip - Live Integriously.
I recently had a client who was in a state of overwhelm
and felt like she was on the verge of collapse. Upon examining the problem,
we discovered that she was spending much of her time saying "yes"
to things she didn't want to, so that she had no time for the things that
were important to her. She was trying to be all things to all people, and
she was failing. She had lost her way and was living a life without personal
integrity.
Shakespeare said it so well: "To thine own self be true, and thou
canst not be false to any man (or woman)". To live in integrity is
to have no regrets for your actions, to not need to apologize to others,
to be real to yourself and to them, and to recognize that you ARE special,
unique, and precious.
When you give up this internal integrity due to external pressures or demands,
you lose track of your core values, of what makes you special, of your
inner strengths. Fear and other people's agenda start to run your life.
Things start to unravel in your life.
To counter this situation, stop all activity and take time to reconnect
with the aspects of yourself that you most treasure. See yourself for the
gift you are. If you had a priceless gift or family heirloom you wouldn't
stuff it in a closet, unused or unloved. Start treating yourself with the
care and respect you would a cherished keepsake and you will automatically
live your life with full integrity.
For tips about taking another step towards balance, check out next month's
tip
- Withdraw and recharge.
Annaliese is a Success Coach who specializes in helping
clients reach the next level of success in both business and life. She'll
support your uniqueness while guiding you to accomplish the goals you want,
but think you can not possibly have in your life.
Annaliese also conducts corporate training programs on
topics such as Supervising the Telecommuter, Balancing Work and Life, Time
Management, and Peak Performance.
For a FREE HOUR COACHING SESSION, call her at 415-487-0507
and set up an appointment today. Call or email her to inquire about her
corporate training programs.
Portions of this material were originally developed by
Coach University (www.coachu.com) and are used by permission. Copyright
1995-97 Coach University, all rights reserved. All other material copyright
1998, Annaliese Furnas. May be freely copied and/or retransmitted with
this notice.
To SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE, please contact us.
Balancing Act November 1998
The Monthly Newsletter of Balanced Life Design
Produced by Annaliese Furnas, Success Coach and Speaker
In This Issue:
1. Giving Thanks for All Life Has Brought You
2. Five Ways to Achieve Outstanding Business Success
3. Balance Tips (monthly tip for achieving Balance in
your life).
Giving Thanks for All Life Has Brought You.
As we approach the Thanksgiving Holiday, it's a great time
to remind ourselves to give thanks for all that life has given us. The
brief list that follows may seem very basic. Yet not everyone in this country
or in the world has, or will be able to be grateful for, any of the following.
Perhaps if we concentrate on the things we are thankful for it will help
ourselves and others gain more abundance, or at least we will appreciate
our own more.
1. A Home in Which to Eat, Sleep, Live, And Relax. We are
blessed if we are not one of the millions of people whose home consists
of a car, an abandoned house or building, cardboard or tin constructed
"shelters," or the bare earth or grass. Think about the homeless
when you complain about your home or apartment being too cold or warm,
or the utility bill being too high, or the inconvenient parking.
2. Ample Clean Food to Eat & The Option To Buy As Much
As We Need. Most of us have never experienced waiting in line 2-6 hours
to buy a loaf of bread, some flour, eggs, etc. We don't know what it is
like to wait for a truck to pull up and hand out boxes or containers of
rice or Red Cross rations. We've never dug in dumpsters behind a grocery
store or restaurant to get the food that was thrown out for our daily meal.
Food is expensive for many. At least in the U.S. we have no lack of it
and it is not rationed out to us or sold at black market prices.
3. Friends, Family and Pets. Most of us have one or more
of these things in our life. In some parts of the country and the world,
people are alone--young children are alone. And the "pet" may
have to end up feeding a family or a group of people due to lack of any
other food supply. We spend more money on the food and vet bills for our
pets than many people in poor countries MAKE in income in a 1-3 year period!
4. Abundant Natural Resources. Yes we need to clean up
our water and air, and plant more trees, etc., but for the most part we
do have water and sewage control that are sanitary to use and maintained.
Our air quality varies from place to place, yet on average is much better
than in many other countries in the world. We also have ample supplies
of electricity, gas, and other resources we need to live and thrive personally
and industrially.
A portion of this piece was originally written for Coach
University by Dennis Tesdell, dtesdell@coachdt.com and has been extensively
rewritten.
Five Ways to Achieve Outstanding Business Success.
Business isn't what it used to be. Chaos has replaced order,
mobility has replaced security, and cynicism has replaced trust. Men and
women in business today need to be savvy in ways quite different than their
predecessors. Here are five things worth keeping in mind to achieve outstanding
business success.
1. Set you own standards. Average performers let others
set standards for them - the boss, their peers, the position, or the situation.
Outstanding performers set their own more rigorous standards. A standard
is a defined level of performance: what you will or will not do and how
well you will do it. Setting your own standards and setting them high,
sets you apart and allows you to stand out above the crowd. Letting others
set your standards for you sends a signal: you're a follower, not a leader.
2. Set your own boundaries and be sure others are aware
of them. Standards and boundaries are different. Think of it this way -
a standard defines what you demand of yourself, and what you require of
others. A boundary defines what you will accept from others. For example,
one of your boundaries might be "I have no time or interest in gossip."
Once you've set your boundaries, they need to be communicated to others
- tactfully. You want others to know where they stand, but you don't want
them to run away.
3. Understand the two definitions of responsibility. The
first: what you are responsible for and to. Basically, you are responsible
for you - your thoughts, words, actions, and their effects upon others.
You also have a big responsibility TO others; it is simply to give others
what you demand for yourself - dignity, respect, space, interest, for example.
The second definition requires a slight spelling change: response-ability.
How effectively and quickly you respond to a host of people and challenges
can determine your level of success. Sometimes this is fair and reasonable,
sometimes unfair and unreasonable. Frankly, the difference is irrelevant.
The only thing that is relevant about a demanding person
or situation how your respond to them or it.
4. Pay more attention to your vision than your plan. Goal
setting is essential, but all too often these efforts are simply mechanical
exercises devoid of heart. If your goals and plans are based on what you
SHOULD accomplish rather than what you WANT to accomplish, toss them. Concentrate
instead on your vision - the ideas, concepts, and possibilities that literally
turn you on, inspire, and motivate you. That way the goals that grow out
of them won't just sit in the bottom of a drawer gathering dust.
5. Recognize that failure is often a necessary precondition
to success. Most people are afraid to fail for the same reason that, when
you fall down and are hurt, you immediately try to get up and assure everyone
that you're all right: fear that others will think less of you for it.
Yet failure most often represents a lesson you need to learn. Many successful
people have failed over and over again before succeeding. So, if you want
to be really outstanding, consider the possibility that failure is just
part of the course.
Portions of this piece were originally written for Coach
University by Shale
Paul, Shalecoach@aol.com and have been extensively rewritten.
Balance Tips
Monthly tips for achieving Balance in your life.
November's tip - Becoming Aligned.
Have you ever sensed that something is missing in your
life? You're doing all the right things to make your business and personal
life thrive, but something seems off, wrong, out of sync. Your mind worries
at the problem, but can't figure out what's missing. Becoming aligned might
be what's lacking in your life.
What do I mean by becoming aligned? Becoming aligned with the infinite
precision and accuracy of the spiritual universe. Becoming aligned is an
act of extreme faith because, chances are, your mind will be screaming
at you that all is NOT well, when in fact it is.
To become aligned is to discover your place and course,
not in an intellectual way, but in the form of a quiet confidence that
calms and assures. Alignment springs from the sudden or gradual awareness
that all, right now, at this moment, is as it should be. It's trusting
without the need to control.
How does one achieve this? There are many paths, and one
is to integrate meditation into your life (see last month's Balance Tip).
Another is to be as fully present as possible. When you're living in the
present, you access your intuition and spirituality in a way your mind
never can.
The next time you feel that some indefinable thing is missing
in your life, check to see if you're in touch with the life flow, energy
and peace available to us all. And trust that all is as it should be.
For tips about taking another step towards balance, check
out next month's tip
- Live Integritously.
Annaliese is a Success Coach who specializes in helping
clients reach the next level of success in both business and life. She'll
support your uniqueness while guiding you to accomplish the goals you want,
but think you can not possibly have in your life.
Annaliese also conducts corporate training programs on
topics such as Supervising the Telecommuter, Balancing Work and Life, Time
Management, and Peak Performance.
For a FREE HOUR COACHING SESSION, call her at 415-487-0507
and set up an appointment today. Call or email her to inquire about her
corporate training programs.
Portions of this material were originally developed by
Coach University (www.coachu.com) and are used by permission. Copyright
1995-97 Coach University, all rights reserved. All other material copyright
1998, Annaliese Furnas. May be freely copied and/or retransmitted with
this notice.
To SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE, please contact us.
Balancing Act October
1998
The Monthly Newsletter of Balanced Life Design
Produced by Annaliese Furnas, Success Coach and Speaker
In This Issue:
1. Ten Ways to turn a Complainer into a Positive Person
2. Develop a Board of Directors for Your Own Career
and Life
3. Balance Tips (monthly tip for achieving Balance in
your life).
Ten ways to turn a Complainer into a Positive Person.
1. Point out to them that they are complaining. Most complainers
are
oblivious to the fact that they whine or complain 'that'
much. Being aware of
it is a good first step toward changing the behavior.
2. Point it out vs. tolerating it. Ask people to simply
change their
complaint into a clear request. This is incredibly easy
to do! Just remind
them to do it, the moment you hear they go down that path.
Be direct and help
them if they can't see how to change the complaint into
a request for what
they need.
3. Ask them to become a completely positive person when
with you. They'll
look at you funny, but better that than putting up with
complaints.
4. Find out what is really bothering them. A complaint
is usually a symptom
of a larger problem. Get to the core problem and find a
solution for that.
5. Hear every complaint from clients/potential customers
as a way to make more
money. This is more than a mind set -- it's really an effective
way to
increase profits. If you'll just hear the complaints as
a consumer wanting to
buy more or buy more easily you can revolutionize your
business.
6. Stop complaining yourself. When you stop, others stop.
7. Let people know that you don't do well with complaints.
When you encounter
a friend about to engage in his normal mode of complaining,
say, "Bob, I'm so
bad at hearing complaints. Let's focus on something that
you're excited about,
okay?" Do this a few times and behavior will start
to change.
8. Hang out only with naturally positive people. And sometimes,
it's just not
worth trying to change people.
9. Focus the other person on an outcome that they really
want. Say something
like, "If you could have it exactly as you want it,
tell me what that would
look like." Then brainstorm with them to achieve that
outcome.
10. Look surprised when they start complaining. Say something
like, "Why,
George, I never knew you to be a complainer! This must
really be bad!" Then
help them find a solution to the underlying problem.
This piece was originally written for Coach University
by Thomas J. Leonard,
thomas@thomasleonard.com and has been extensively rewritten.
Develop a Board of Directors for Your Own Career and Life
Whether you are going through a career change, or other
major life transition,
it's easier when you have the support, feedback and wisdom
of others. Turning
to friends and family for these things is one option. When
you want more
objective and specialized feedback, a great alternative
is to develop your own
Board of Directors.
When I left my corporate job two years ago to start my
own business, I knew
that depending on friends alone for help would not work
for me. My friends
were all positive I would be an immediate success and none
had experience
being self-employed.
What I needed was people on my team who would tell me the
brutal truth about
my proposed plans, brainstorm possible solutions, and hold
me accountable for
my goals. Yet as a new business owner, I didn't have the
cash flow to hire my
own Success Coach. So I decided to develop my own Board
of Directors.
Where do I start?
The first step is to identify the areas that you wanted
to focus on. For
myself, I knew that marketing and sales, dealing with long
hours and
isolation, and learning an accounting system would all
be challenges that I
wanted help with.
How do I pick my Board?
Once you narrow the focus down to two to four areas to
start, decide whom you
want on your Board. I picked individuals who excelled in
the areas I needed
help with. I chose a successful sole proprietor I had met
at a networking
function to talk to about sales and marketing. To function
as both a morning
wake-up call and a friendly daily voice, I picked an energetic
and organized
early riser who was recommended by a friend. And to help
me tackle a
rudimentary accounting system, I asked an ex co-worker
who was a Quicken
aficionado.
How do I ask them for help?
Simply ask. For example I contacted my marketing prospect
and said, "I love
how well you market your business. Someday, I want to be
as good at marketing
as you are. Will you be my mentor and help me do that?"
I explained that the
commitment was only one meeting a month, for three to six
months. I suggested
that each meeting be dinner on me as a way of saving their
time and saying
thank you for their help.
What am I really asking for?
You'll want to meet with each of your Board members once
a month (or
occasionally, daily as in the case of my "wake-up
call"). At each meeting
you'll go over what activities you've accomplished, brainstorm
on ways to
improve, and set specific goals that you will achieve before
your next
meeting.
Will they say Yes?
You'll quickly realize that most people want to give of
their time and
experience to help others. By explaining up front my purpose
in asking for
their help, how often I wanted their assistance, and for
how long (average
time is three to six months per goal/issue), I overcame
all reluctance in
assembling my own Board of Directors and so will you.
Balance Tips
Monthly tips for achieving Balance in your life.
October's tip - Integrating Meditation.
The phone won't stop ringing, you're late for your next
appointment and one of
your key employees just announced she is leaving for a
better job. Ever felt
overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of what it takes to
get through each day in
our complex world? I haveregularly, but I've discovered
that adopting a
daily meditation practice can make a huge difference.
To meditate is to allow the scales to settle into peaceful
quiet balance.
There are many ways to meditate - breath, mantric, and
action to name only
three. The point is that regular disciplined meditation
affords mind and body
a "safe harbor" from the tugs and pulls of daily
life. Meditation is the deep
stillness that is revealed when all the noise is swept
away. If you don't
meditate, you're robbing yourself of an immediately available
peace.
Try this first step toward a breathing meditation. Arrange
a place where you
will not be disturbed for twenty minutes. Sit down and
get comfortable. Pay
attention only to your breathing, particularly the exhalation
phase. As
thoughts intrude, allow them to float away as you refocus
on your breathing.
Let each breath take you down into a more relaxed state.
Continue for at least
twenty minutes once a day, preferably in the morning. It
may take up to three
months to notice significant changes.
For tips about taking another step towards balance, check
out next month's tip
- Becoming Aligned.
Annaliese is a Success Coach who specializes in helping
clients reach the next level of success in both business and life. She'll
support your uniqueness while guiding you to accomplish the goals you want,
but think you can not possibly have in your life.
Annaliese also conducts corporate training programs on
topics such as Supervising the Telecommuter, Balancing Work and Life, Time
Management, and Peak Performance.
For a FREE HOUR COACHING SESSION, call her at 415-487-0507
and set up an appointment today. Call or email her to inquire about her
corporate training programs.
Portions of this material were originally developed by
Coach University (www.coachu.com) and are used by permission. Copyright
1995-97 Coach University, all rights reserved. All other material copyright
1998, Annaliese Furnas. May be freely copied and/or retransmitted with
this notice.
To SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE, please contact us.
Balancing Act September 1998
The Monthly Newsletter of Balanced Life Design
Produced by Annaliese Furnas, Success Coach and Speaker
In This Issue:
1. Outwit the Time Wasters
2. Making Wise Decisions
3. Balance Tips (monthly tip for achieving Balance in your life).
Outwit the Time Wasters
Last month, we discussed procrastination and ways to overcome
it. This month, let's visit other time wasters and look at some ideas on
how to deal with them.
Crisis Management - The worst time waster I can think of
is crisis management. Crisis management, or "fire fighting",
is caused by failing to make a decision or take an action that would have
prevented the crisis in the first place! We leave one task unfinished to
work on something that has just become "urgent". At first this
seems logical, until the other tasks becomes "urgent" as well.
Much of this is the result of losing focus of true priorities.
But how can we tell the difference between "urgent" and "important"?
Before abandoning one job for another, ask yourself two questions; is this
task in alignment with my (or your company's) overall goals for the year?
And what would be the consequence of finishing this task late or not at
all? If a job doesn't further top goals, don't spend time doing it. Delegate
or eliminate it instead.
Lack of Priorities - Some of us don't just lose focus on
our priorities, we never made them in the first place! We accomplish the
most when we know exactly what we want to accomplish. However, many people
think goals and objectives are yearly items and not daily considerations.
The results are days spent majoring in the minors. Ask yourself this question:
if your child or partner became very ill today and you needed to take them
to the hospital, how would you rearrange your day?
Your priorities would become immediately clear and only
critical work/life tasks would get done. How much more effective we could
be if we engaged in critical rather than inconsequential activities every
day. Plan every day to focus on critical priorities.
Trying To Do Too Much - Many of today's high performers seem to have a
common thread: the "Superman/Superwoman" ideal; i.e., taking
on everything and trying to get it done by tomorrow. Success or failure
seems to be measured by the state of busyness. We know that we can't do
justice to everything at once and we often don't have perspective about
all we have going on. It's like tossing another ball to the juggler...
33 at once for the average busy executive. Examine how many of the activities
you do are necessary, versus just designed to make you feel necessary.
Focus on what counts and outwit the time wasters in your
life.
Making Wise Decisions
Most of us have never been taught to make wise decisions
in our work or personal lives. An effective system for making decisions
combines logical thinking with intuition. This one is adapted from Dr.
Spencer Johnson's book, "Yes and No".
1. What do I really need from this decision? Distinguish
between a WANT which is a wish and a NEED which is a necessity. You may
want a luxurious home, but may need a peaceful haven. You may want cute,
trendy shoes, but you may need shoes you can comfortably stand in all day.
Successful people get their true needs met. When we pursue what we think
we WANT, we feel empty even after we have it. Be sure to focus clearly
on what will actually fulfill your NEEDS and avoid being distracted by
everything else.
2. What are my options? Asking this question puts you in
a resourceful state to allow yourself to find effective solutions. If you
hear yourself saying, "I have no options" recognize that you
are simply not aware of them right now. Brainstorm with others to see the
variety of options available.
3. For each option, ask, "then what would happen."
Use your logical mind to narrow down your options to two or three. Then
use your imagination to focus in great detail on what would happen if you
acted upon this choice. See what unfolds and feel the consequence as if
you have already experienced this decision. Take it well into the future
by asking: then what at least two more times.
4. Think it through completely. Take time to be aware of
the worst case/best case scenarios and what you would do in either case.
The result of even one decision has a domino effect on others and ourselves.
5. What does my decision reveal about my beliefs? Your
core beliefs define how you feel about yourself and influence your decisions
through your subconscious. Beliefs are largely choices we've made long
ago and have forgotten. By looking at the pattern of your past decisions
you can identify limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of your wise
decision-making.
6. Does this decision fit my purpose or personal mission?
Check for congruence between what you say you believe and what you actually
do. Being clear about who you are and what you stand for allows you to
make better decisions.
7. Trust your intuition. Your intuition is your personal
guide to help you sense what is right for you. Focus on your decision.
If you feel stressed or confused as a result of focusing on this decision,
it's your inner wisdom letting you know this is probably not right for
you now. On the other hand, if you feel lighter, peaceful or inspired,
this is your validation to proceed.
8. What would I do if I deserved better? Sometimes we undermine
our efforts due to a hidden belief that we don't deserve more. To see if
this is true for you, look at your life. Do you find that you stop at a
certain level of success? If you believe in your decision, then act on
it!
This piece was written for Coach University by Barbara
McRae, enhancedlife@juno.com and has been extensively edited.
Balance Tips
Monthly tips for achieving Balance in your life.
September's tip - Withholding Judgement.
How many times have you watched someone do something, such
as cut you off on the freeway, and found yourself muttering, "you
idiot"? Or have you ever been trapped in the checkout line behind
someone with an out-of-control child? Did your mind immediately start questioning
the parenting skills of the adult as you thought how much better you could
have handled the situation?
These are reactions most of us have from time to time.
Being able to listen and observe while withholding judgement is a skill
many of us have never been taught. But it's a skill we can begin to cultivate
and exercise every day.
All too often, judgement is an imposition upon experience
that is designed - sometimes subconsciously - to shield, protect, and promote
our selves.
A first step toward conquering this tendency is to simply
notice every time you place a judgment upon others or yourself. As that
voice in your head starts tossing out critical words, mentally say "stop"
and replace them with non-judgmental thoughts. As you develop yourself
to the point where you can be fully present and act deliberately in all
that you do, withholding judgement is accomplished automatically.
For tips about taking another step towards balance, check
out next month's tip
- Integrating Meditation.
Annaliese is a Success Coach who specializes in helping
clients reach the next level of success in both business and life. She'll
support your uniqueness while guiding you to accomplish the goals you want,
but think you can not possibly have in your life.
Annaliese also conducts corporate training programs on
topics such as Supervising the Telecommuter, Balancing Work and Life, Time
Management, and Peak Performance.
For a FREE HOUR COACHING SESSION, call her at 415-487-0507
and set up an appointment today. Call or email her to inquire about her
corporate training programs.
Portions of this material were originally developed by
Coach University (www.coachu.com) and are used by permission. Copyright
1995-97 Coach University, all rights reserved. All other material copyright
1998, Annaliese Furnas. May be freely copied and/or retransmitted with
this notice.
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Balancing Act July
1998
The Monthly Newsletter of Balanced Life Design
Produced by Annaliese Furnas, Success Coach and Speaker
In This Issue:
1. Fun at Work It's Possible
2. Are you in the right job?
3. Balance Tips (monthly tip for achieving Balance in your life).
Balance Tips
Monthly tips for achieving Balance in your life.
July's tip - Being Fully Present
Multitasking is a skill most of us have cultivated to exist
in our fast paced business world. But as we chase multitasking nirvana,
what many of us have lost is the ability to be fully present in our lives.
Have you ever read your email while speaking to someone
on the phone? After you hang up, how much of the conversation or the email
do you remember? Dividing our attention between tasks may save us time,
but the costs can be enormous.
So what is it to be fully present? Being fully present
is to enjoy a relaxed attentiveness that takes in all but does not judge.
It is to be able to focus on a single person, idea or topic to the extent
that all else becomes imperceptible background noise. To be fully present
is to have no preoccupations with past or future.
Being fully present takes practice and a willingness to
purposefully exclude all that is not directly relevant to the subject at
hand. It means remaining in the now, even when drifting off into memory
or speculation might be more appealing.
So the next time you're zipping down the freeway and chatting
with that sales prospect on your cell phone, consider how much more effective
you might be if you gave your full attention to that person. The connection
would be deeper and the relationship necessary to close the deal, that
much better.
For tips about taking another step towards balance, check
out next month's tip
- Acting Deliberately.
Balancing Act June
1998
The Monthly Newsletter of Balanced Life Design
Produced by Annaliese Furnas, Success Coach and Speaker
In This Issue:
1. It's Never Too Early: Don't Put Off Achieving Your
Dreams
2. Ten Ways to Set and Achieve Goals.
3. Balance Tips (monthly tip for achieving Balance in
your life).
It's Never Too Early: Don't Put Off Achieving Your Dreams
As powerful as the idea that "it's never too late,"
is its corollary, "it's never too early". As you approach the
midpoint of 1998, it's a great time to review the goals you set down at
the beginning of the year. For some, this is a positive experience as you
get to check off all the goals that you've achieved this year. Others might
experience the frustration of thwarted plans and unforeseen obstacles.
Regardless of your experience, it's not too early to make some changes,
start over, and achieve your dreams now!
Goals are not static entities. They change and grow, just as you do. You
may have envisioned certain goals in January that are no longer applicable,
or perhaps they need to be radically changed to serve your needs today
(for more on setting goals, see "Ten Ways to"article in this
issue). The important thing is to stop wasting valuable time and begin
today!
What do I mean when I urge you to stop wasting time? As each generation
ages, we re-discovers how quickly life goes by. When I was in my mid-twenties,
none of my personal friends had died - the people in my life who died were
always "older". But now, just ten years later, one friend, age
31 has died in a car accident. Another friend's brother died of valley
fever at the age of 43. Eight of my friends, between the ages of 26 and
48 have died of AIDS.
Each of us has a unique contribution to make in this world.
I urge you to live as if tomorrow could be your last day - because it could.
Pursue your dreams now. Stand up for your values, create beauty, seek peace,
and spread laughter. Actuarial tables are only averages; there are no guarantees.
Sometimes you've just got to close your eyes and jump. If you've put off
living your dreams, it's time to do something about it.
If not now, when?
Ten Ways to Set and Achieve Goals
1. Make a list of your values.
What is really important to you? Your family? Your spiritual
practice, leisure time, hobbies? Decide on what your most important values
in life are, and then make sure the goals you set are designed to include
and enhance them.
2. Begin with the end in mind.
Tom Watson, the founder of IBM was once asked what he attributed
the phenomenal success of IBM's early years to and he said it was three
things: The first thing was that he created a very clear image in his mind
of what he wanted his company to look like when it was done. He then asked
himself how would a company like that have to act on a day-to-day basis.
And then in the very beginning of building his company, he began to act
that way.
3. Project yourself into the future.
Earl Nightingale once said that the easiest way to reach
our goals is to pretend that we had already achieved our goals. That is,
begin to walk, talk, and act as though we are already experiencing the
success we seek. Then, those things will come to us naturally through the
power of the subconscious mind.
4. Write down ten things you want this year.
By making a list of the things that are important to you,
you begin to create images in you mind. It's been said that your mind will
actually create chaos if necessary to make images become a reality. Because
of this, the list of ten things will probably result in you achieving at
least eight of them within the year.
5. Create your storyboard.
Get a piece of poster board and attach it to a wall in
your office or home where you will see it often. As you go through magazines,
brochures, etc. and you see the pictures of the things you want, cut them
out and glue them to your storyboard. In other words, make yourself a collage
of the goals that excite you knowing full well that as you look at them
every day, they will soon be yours.
6. The three most important things.
Decide on the three things that you want to achieve before
you die. Then work backward listing three thing you want in the next twenty
years, ten years, five years, this year, this month, this week, and finally,
the three most important things you want to accomplish today.
7. Ask yourself good questions.
As you think about your goals, instead of wishing for them
to come true, ask yourself how and what you can do to make them come true.
The subconscious mind will respond to your questions far faster than if
you just make statements or make wishes.
8. Focus on one project at a time.
One of the greatest mistakes people make in setting goals
is trying to work on too many things at one time. You may have a list of
20 objectives for the year, but there is tremendous power in giving laser
beam focused attention to just one idea, one project or one objective at
a time. Once one project is complete, then move to the next.
9. Write out an "Ideal Scenario".
Project yourself into the future and pretend that a reporter
has interviewed you about the outstanding success you have achieved and
you are reading the article in the newspaper. How would it read? What would
be the headline? Write the article yourself, projecting yourself into the
future as though it had already happened. Describe the activities of your
daily routine that were the most important for your success. Start doing
those activities today.
10. Meditate and Pray.
As you get into bed each evening, think about your goals
before you drop off to sleep. Get a very clear colorful image in your mind
of seeing yourself doing the things you'll be doing after you've reached
your major goals (remember to include your values). Then ask for these
things through meditation and prayer.
This piece was originally written for Coach University
and Sales University by Hilton Johnson (hilton@salesuniversity.com) and
has been extensively edited.
Balance Tips
Monthly tips for achieving Balance in your life.
June's tip - Putting Self, Family, Work, and Leisure in
Proper Perspective.
The order here is not accidental. If you don't put your
"self" first, you can not give your best to others. Many view
this attitude as being "selfish" but each of us has a finite
amount of energy. When you put yourself first (by taking time to practice
healthy self-care) you keep your energy level replenished and have more
to give to others. Giving of your time and energy becomes effortless when
you have more than enough for yourself.
With all the demands for our time, friends and family often end up on the
bottom of our "to do" lists. When friends and family become more
a burden than a delight, you are missing both valuable learning and intimate
joy. It's not a coincidence that time spent with others becomes more important
as we age. For some of us, it simply takes that long to realize that these
connections matter more than time spent at work, worrying about our future,
or watching television.
If work is all consuming, that's just what it will do to you - it will
eat you alive. It's one thing to love what you do and receive great satisfaction
from doing it. It's quite another to work so many hours that you have no
time for yourself, your friends and family, and leisure activities. During
a special project it's often appropriate to work extra hours. However,
if you are regularly working significantly more hours each day than you
are sleeping each night, you are not living a balanced life. It's an old
but true saying that on their deathbed, no one ever wished that they had
spent more time at the office.
Ah, leisure time - those wonderful hours spent at the movies, hiking, reading,
or walking along the beach. Have you noticed that people unhappy with their
lives, family, and work seem to live only for their leisure time? It's
important to remember that this is a part of life, not the main purpose.
When all the other aspects of our lives are fulfilled and balanced, we
can use leisure time to replenish our souls and indulge our senses. This
is using recreation in its purest and healthiest form - to re-create our
spirits.
For tips about taking another step towards balance, check out next month's
tip
- Being Fully Present.
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